You know, I gotta be honest: the past few years, I haven’t made any resolutions.
Some will think that’s a good thing, I mean, you’re only setting yourself up for failure when you make stupid resolutions right? Others are probably in disbelief thinking “why that’s just un-American!”
But really I guess somehow I had subconsciously fallen into the first group, thinking if I don’t make things an “official” resolution, I’d be less likely to fail.
I feel like this year was a year of growth for me though. To be honest, I really didn’t see it until I took a moment to reflect on everything that really went on this year. It was beautiful… and it was ugly. In that order.
Jan. 4 my gorgeous, perfect baby girl was born. This was beautiful.
She began the year off with a huge bang. Big brother just loved her and we had so much fun travelling with them while I was on maternity leave.
We went to Walt Disney World and Universal Studios again, and took the babes to New York City! Pax had gone the year before and LOVED it, so we had to visit the Big Apple again and show little sis what city life was all about!
Barney! I may have shed a tear at his show.
I also was able to quit my job at the end of the school year (former teacher here) and stay home to raise my babies and work my catering business full-time with my mother. The beautiful.
But I’ll never forget bringing Pres home from the hospital and letting her meet my amazing Granny. The next month, Granny began chemo. We had found out Dec 2015 that she had stage four cancer. All over her body. Inoperable. Prognosis: 6 months to a year WITH chemo.
As you’ll learn about me, I’m not a big medicine person. I don’t trust many conventional doctors or practices. I didn’t want her to do any chemo, (it had nearly killed her 5 years earlier when she had breast cancer) but of course scared family members urged her to do so. It nearly killed her again. And didn’t work.
After a long hospital visit and confirmation from the doctor that it was useless and wasn’t working, she stopped in April. We spent four more incredible months with her. And she loved my baby girl sooooooo much. My three year old son loved Granny too and she loved him immensely… but boy did she have a special relationship with my baby girl. When I play a recording of Granny to this day, little Preslyn’s ears will perk up and she will look around for her Granny.
She didn’t often talk about her dying, it was always the elephant in the room, but I remember a few weeks before Granny died, she got real quiet (which was unusual for my crazy, funny, speak-her-mind Granny) and said, “I just want to be able to watch these babies grow up.” 😭😭😭 Ugh, sorry I’m in tears right now. THE ugly. This was the ugly.
August 12th at 12pm was the ugliest day of the year in 2016. For me. I know for Granny it was the most beautiful. It was the day she met Jesus. Jesus- whom she gave her life for. Jesus- whom she always spoke about. Jesus- whom she loved more than anything in this world. I could talk forever about my Granny and how close we were, how special she was, how beautiful and wise, and brave and definitely the strongest woman I know. She loved Jesus so much and taught us how he is your lover, your friend, everything you have need of.
She’s so right.
So since she’s been gone, it’s been so hard. I cry at least once everyday. Though now I find that my tears are becoming more and more happy tears instead of all sad. She was hilarious! Everyday I think of something funny her crazy tail said!
Anyway, if you’ve stuck around reading until now, THANK YOU! You tha real MVP! 😊 You’re sweet, but you may be wondering what this all has to do with this New Years and resolutions.
I guess all the pain brought to light my need to set some goals in stone for next year. To make…. yes, resolutions.
This morning at church really helped me. One of my awesome pastors was talking about how you don’t need to “patch holes” this year. He was saying to let God completely restore you, give you a new robe, so to speak, not just a robe that you’ve “patched up” yourself, and to use the talents to the fullest that God has given you! I’m pumped up guys! Because I see that it isn’t my resolutions or efforts that is going to help me be a “better person” or make me skinnier or eat cleaner or make me more grateful or nicer. I’ve resolved to give my “resolutions” to God and let him change my heart from the inside out.
I see the value in writing my goals down, giving them a name, making resolutions. But I’m trusting God to take my efforts and helped me be shaped and stretched into the person he’s called me to be. So without further adieu, this is how next year will be different.
My 2017 Resolutions:
1. Go for it! The big things! The crazy things. The things that don’t make sense that some people are scared to do, but I just know I can do!!! Just do it.
2. Be myself again. My true self. I resolve to never be someone I’m not. This year, I take back who I am. Maybe I got a little lost in the whirlwind of becoming a mother of two this past year! (Heck, I’m still trying to get my head screwed on straight 😂 It was/is another world) But I don’t want to lose who I am along the way. I vow to take time to do what I love again, paint those pictures, play my piano, find new challenges, be me.
3. Create special moments and time for just husband+me time. We love our babies, but this needs to be a priority to keep them flames ablazing! Because even after almost seven years… I still got the hots for my most sweetest, handsome hubby!
4. Make friend time and cultivate meaningful relationships. I just have to. Friend times with just me and making more play dates with friends+the babies.
5. Putting my dang phone down more. For obvious reasons. To really see my babies and give them the quality of a mother and attention they deserve.
6. To lose my last bit of chub from the baby. 😂 Really, I want my lifestyle to be way more active than what it’s been. I’m really excited for this one!
7. Last but not least, I want to become closer to the Lord like never before. To know His heart and to hear His voice. The day is here and the time is now. This is our year!
This is is it, loves! Thank you for reading. Y’all are so awesome. Thank you for letting me be me. For loving and supporting me and helping me chase my dreams as I support you in chasing yours! I’m sure this post was all over the place but I love y’all so much. Why will this year be different for you?